Anxiety Thing # 4 - Children and Seatbelts

My last anxiety producer had to do with kids being forced to smoke. This one has to do with kids not being forced to do something - wear seatbelts in a car. Many of the comments on the last post apply to this senseless behavior of parents as well. What are they trying to show – that they don’t believe the statistics about accidents and severity of injuries without seatbelts? Or are they trying to show the children that they love them so much that they will let them bounce around the vehicle as they wish – and even bounce out of the vehicle in the event of an accident. Do these parents not have the ability to envision the child as a projectile going out the front window at whatever the speed the vehicle was traveling and then hitting the next stationary object – building, rock, tree, river lake – you get the drift, right?

Some parents just don’t seem to realize that they are charged with a heavy responsibility – the protection of their children. True – total protection of a child at all times is pretty much impossible. But there are times when it is not only possible but easy to accomplish and, in many jurisdictions, mandated by law. To not protect your children at all times possible is just stupid – especially in a vehicle going 50, 70, 90, 100 km per hour or more. Remember that every person in the vehicle is traveling the same speed as the vehicle and if the vehicle has a sudden stop anything not constrained in the vehicle keeps going. To subject your children to this is just ignorant.

What does the parent teach a child by not insisting on seatbelts? That we are above the law and it is not to be obeyed? That the law of physics does not apply to us? That the statistics lie or do not apply to us? Let’s just have fun and ignore safety (safety is for sissies?)? We are being told what to do?

Then see these parents in the Emergency Room following an accident and listen to them grieve for their child who was severely injured or killed because no seat belt was worn. Listen to them seek sympathy and blame the child who “would not wear the seat belt”. Or listen to them blame themselves for not insisting the seat belt be worn. Kind of late for that!

Like smoking, I believe that parents who refuse to force their children to wear seat belts should be investigated for child abuse. If they disregard the safety of their children in this instance, where else might they be doing the same.

Safety of children is paramount. If you are not going to provide good care for a child, don’t have any. They are not toys. They need to learn safe ways of facing life and they depend on their parents for that teaching.

So, come on parents! Seatbelts are tested and proven to help in times of accident or quick stops. Stand up to your responsibility. Teach your children safety so that they will teach your grandchildren. Keep them safe so that you may enjoy them as they grow up and they remember you as a parent who cared.

Anxiety Thing # 3 - Children an Forced Smoking

Parents who force their children to smoke really bug me. At least once per day I see parents driving in their car smoking while their children sit in the back seat. It is bad enough that these parents care so little about their own health; it is bad enough that they care so little about being alive and healthy so they can enjoy their children as adults and their grandchildren. But to care so little about their children as to force them to smoke is disgraceful. It should be grounds for child abuse charges.

It is not as if the parents don’t know about the damage caused by smoking. Television, radio, newspaper and magazine ads all shout out the diseases caused by smoking. There is nobody, especially not driving parents, so isolated as to not know of the ads. Even cigarette packages carry warnings. Is there anybody who doesn’t know of at least one person who is sick or who has died from a smoking related illness? What do these parents think the ads and warnings are about? Maybe they just don’t think!

The explanations that can be offered for this smoking behavior by parents are varied – lack of education, lack of knowledge, belief system, addiction, stress, others do it, it’s a social behavior and so on. These are all cop outs. This smoking behavior comes down to:
(1) arrogance – nobody is going to tell me what to do
(2) redneck perspectives – as above
(3) Lack of respect for the children
(4) Lack of concern for the children
(5) Being self-focused and selfish.

It all boils down to lack of love for the children. If you love your children are you going to force (not allow) them to breathe in poisonous smoke – smoke that is proven to cause heart attacks, respiratory problems and cancer. What a great gift to force the child that you love to have!

So come on parents – teach your children to smoke; force them to smoke; make sure they grow up as smokers; make sure they will suffer from cancer, respiratory problems and heart problems. Show your children how much you love them.

Every smoker can stop smoking if he wishes to. The key is wanting to stop. There are many stop smoking programs but none of them will work if the smoker does not want to stop. Understand that the tobacco companies do not want you to stop - they love it when you light up and the more children you convince to smoke the better they like it. So you decide - support the tobacco companies or support your children. I don't believe you can do both.

Anxiety Thing #2 - Shopping

I am not a person who fells much anxiety; I'm pretty low key and accepting of most anything. But shopping and anxiety - weren't they made for each other?

Today is Sunday which, for our family, is grocery shopping day. That brings me to the next activity which builds up anxiety for me. Shoppers who stand in the long line at the checkout, watch the shoppers in front of them go through, watch the cashier ring in her groceries and only open up her purse when she is given the total. In this case I say "she" because inevitably it is a woman. And then she digs and digs and digs - membership card, if one is required - and then the exact change. To the corner of that purse under the keys, the kleenex, the pills, the slips of paper with notes, the receipts for the last 3 years of shopping - for that last needed penny for exact change. "Just a minute, I know I've got a penny here someplace". I can't count the times when that last penny was found only to be short of exact change and then she uses the debit card or charge card. Did she think she was not going to have to pay? (I went to all the trouble of getting those groceries and you still want me to pay?) What is wrong with getting the money out while waiting in line? What is wrong with speeding up the process, especially when there are ten people behind you waiting for that last found penny to fall on the floor and have to be retrieved? Come on folks - it's not rocket science - you have to pay so get the money out. Consider those in line behind you.

Hand in hand with this are those who view the grocery shopping trip as the weekly outing with the cashier being the tour guide. There are times I care and times I don't care. On Sunday morning as I am standing in line with a 4 liter jug of milk, I don't care if Aunt Sally's slipped disc is acting up again - especially if I don't know Aunt Sally or Aunt Sally's neice (who is telling the story as she is digging for that last penny in the lower left hand corner of her purse - only to have it fall and roll across the floor - before giving in and using the debit card). In this case there more men than in the first scenario. It is like these people save up their weekly talking until they get to the cashier and then the verbal floodgates open and it all comes gushing out - every last boring detail. Maybe grocery stores should open a social line for those talkers. Or maybe they could install signs like the fast check out signs. So instead of "10 items or less" it could be "10 short sentences or less" or "cash register powers down on your 21st word". Or maybe the stores could provide visitor booths where the socialites could sit across from one another and bore each other into silence with their Aunt Sally stories.

In any case, I just want to get my 4 liter jug of milk and get out. No more shopping anxiety.

Anxiety Thing # 1 -Tim Hortons Drivethrus

As I have travelled across this country, the one trait common to all cities and towns is Tim Horton's with their drivethru. It is not that the drivethru promotes laziness by allowing people to get their sugar fix without even having to move out of their vehicles that I find to be anxiety producing. It is not that the drivethru is given preference in service over the walk in customers that I find to be an annoying thing. The annoying thing is that there are, waiting to get into the drivethru, lines of cars and trucks on both sides of the street that, in some cases, effectively block traffic and, in all cases, provide a traffic hazard. I find it difficult to believe that City Councils and the RCMP (or Municipal Police forces) allow this hazard to exist. But I guess it is business providing tax money and the police are big customers of Tim Horton's. Each morning, as I bike to work, I need to go through the maze of trucks that are lined up at one of these outlets (the reason that most of these guys own pickups will probably be the subject of a later annoyance). Traffic is at a standstill because the street is blocked by these sugar craving condom drivers. And it is always anxiety producing! You can see the anxiety and anger in the faces of the drivers who are caught.

Things That Annoy Me

As I go through life I keep coming across little things that annoy me; things that other people do; habits that other people have; sounds that are irritating - things that cause me to laugh at myself for being annoyed after I have a chance to think about them. I thought I'd start writing them down. My goal is to post one a day (sort of like "an apple a day keeps the doctor away"). I might be surprised at the final tally and result. If I get too annoyed with this process, I will just delete the blog. Now isn't that a sense of power for there is no possibility of deleting the people that do annoying things. In those cases, my only option is to walk away. If this becomes an annoying thing, I can press the delete button. Let's see how many annoying things me I come up with.